So due to unforeseen circumstances (broken laptop charger) the author of this blog is in a bit of a pickle. Wanting to blog, yet the countdown has started, one hour charge left..no way to do anything about this until tuesday when the new charger arrives (thank-you internet shopping) SO rushing to her rescue like a knight in shining armour I.AM.HERE.
Now let me introduce myself I'm Steve (don't call me Junior)... Tonight we have mainly been watching Saturday night TV, now we are pretty sure you are all out and about getting drunk, covering your thighs in mayo (Natto) tripping the light fantastic (Christian) or scanning this blog for banned words (Becky's Mum).
Being young (ish?) happening people (Becky's words not mine) we are pretty unfamilar with Saturday night telly, what follows is our review of tonights main course in the feast offered up by ITV..
Take me out (ITV1 7:30pm Saturday nights)
Some things, when you read / hear about them, sound utter rubbish, yet when you actually watch them despite yourself, turn out in fact to be BLOODY.AMAZING. Sadly, Take me out isnt one of those, yet...here we are having just finshed watching we seem to be able to talk about little else, why is this? Is it because we have been drinking? No, though yes we are, but it's early we aren't that.drunk, or is it because of Paddy's charm and wit ("No likey no lighty!!!") unlikely. The only thing we can put it down to, is that we really like watching people being mortified at not being chosen, having nobody to choose from after all the lovely ladies turn their lights off. . It doesnt even make us feel better about ourselves, if anything it makes us feel uneasy. I for one would never dare risk my ego to the extent to apply to appear, get accepted, turn up on the evening in question say some rather generic lines, eat a bit of fire, or any other party trick I could dream up. To only get rejected by a bunch of girls I know nothing about.
We could base this blog on Becky's thoughts about how (although she deffo isnt a raging feminist, honest guv) it's all a bit tacky, the answers given by the girls for instance, are nothing short of cringeworthy....Steve, shut up and move over....HI!!! it's ME I'm reclaiming control of MY blog......
I'm not quite sure what to say. Two things. 1. I hate Take Me Out (conceptually) 2. I love Take Me Out (brutal truth)... so it's difficult to pick it apart whilst not, in part, being guilty of a multitude of sins. However, I will. We all do it.
The girls, I will leave to Stephen as I've not got much of an opinion and well, there's more of them.
The blokes. I WILL comment on.
Contestant 1: TOM
Under par Flash Harry, his VT showed him making his fortune, then losing it, then sticking to a bar he now owns and in his words 'uses to attract the ladies' or something slightly more bile inducing. He's wearing a velvet jacket. That's quite enough about Tom, I'm sure you have the full picture.
Contestant 2: Jack
Not bad looking but horrible all the same. A genuine lack of talent, in any form.. his VT just shows 'Jack' poncing around at a swimming pool and his party trick is erm, dressing up as a gladiator and pulling that generic body builder stance.
Contestant 3: Christian
Blackpool charmer. Elderly, one might say. Dressed in all black, suaaaave Mr. Or not. His party trick is swinging a stick and hitting a brick. The two main qualities that I personally look for in a gentleman. Think of Dave from Gavin and Stacey - he reminded me of him. The girls 'no lightey'd' when his VT EXPOSED Dave, sorry, Christian.. as a grandad. Enough said.
Contestant 4: Ben (the worst of all three)
Smarmy prick is how I'd describe this fellow. Not only was he greased up, smooth and pronounced his t's with d's... the Take Me Out production team introduced an interesting spin on this character. As our main protagonist, the winner with most of the ladies... Ben, it stated, on two fucking massive screens, is worth £10,000,000. Now. I've seen some vulgar things in my time. Natto, mayo. This just made me say bad things. Yes mum, bad things. Not that bad thing, don't worry. Although, that fits.
Worst.Men.Ever. That's my contribution. xxxxx
Becky, give.it.back...my turn!!!
Hi folks, sorry about that interuption....I (Steve) now have full control once again....
I would comment on the ladies 'on offer' in tonights show...but that would take too long and, as a Gemini one of my traits is my lack of an ability to work on something for more that five minutes before becoming bored and letting someone else finish it off (once I have done all the fun parts of course).
Suffice to say the ladies on offer (by the way doesnt the phrase 'on offer' make it sound like a cattle market?) were not really my cup of tea, I'm sure in their own way at least some of them are very nice, apart from that one with the crazy hair (I apologise now for lack of names here, I'm bad with names, indeed I forgot my own name when only a few minutes ago I rang someone, thought they had answered, only it turned out it was their Mum, not sure why this made me stutter nervous laugh quite so much but it did. Sorry to the person that answered, I'm not a gibbering idiot all of the time, honest) Only one of the girls featured looked like I might actually like her, she never got to speak, so I'm unsure, I'll keep the proposal on hold until I've heard her speak, it's for the best.
In summary, Take me out isnt very good, it's a glorious cacophony of a tv show... maybe deep down we really did just like to laugh at people after all.
Bye!!
SPS & RJB
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PS. As per my greeting, today I'm from Yorkshire. Fancy! (I'm not actually from Yorkshire, it's Lincolnshire, yes yes I know you all probably have no idea where that is..lets just say near Hull and down a bit????
PPS. I'm sure it hasn't escaped your attention that I have managed to write this without resorting to disrespectful curse words, I feel RJB should take this lesson on board and learn from it.
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